Knowledge is Power -- G-dly Knowledge is SUPER POWER.
Many people have a very serious inaccurate idea of how the Bible and Jewish law regard the place of a woman in the theater of a Jewish home.
This past week, I had a conversation with a hi-powered attorney regarding the roles of a man and woman and whether they should strive to be like each other to attain equality. I told him, when men will give birth to children, and women will have the kind of body men have, perhaps then, we can talk equality.
Our sages say, the reason why women merited begetting children, is because only they have that mental, emotional and physiological strength to keep on having children. Had it been left up to men, the world would have cease existing a long time ago.
In our classic sources, men are compared more to the organ of the brain and women more to the organ of the heart. The brain is more consistent and rational, the heart fluctuates constantly and is the seat of the emotions.
No one rational would ever suggest we place the heart in the place of the brain and the brain in the place of the heart. This would compromise both the role and function both these vital organs serve for the wellbeing of the body.
The same is regarding men and women. “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus”. Well maybe not that far from each other, but you get the drift. Only by accepting and respecting, the unique characteristics of each gender can a household, and the world at large, produce happy and healthy results.
The following are two quotes from our classic texts that will help you appreciate the place of a Jewish man and woman in the context of their home.
The first is from Maimonides, Ishut - Chapter Fifteen Law 19.
“…. our Sages commanded, that a man honor his wife more than his own person, and love her as he loves his own person. If he has financial resources, he should offer her benefits in accordance with his resources. He should not cast a superfluous measure of fear over her. He should talk with her gently, being neither sad nor angry.”
This next piece of advice is from a communication sent by, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson.
“In continuation to what we discussed together, while you were in my study, it is certain that your conduct must be according to the teachings of our sages, and this is not only for your spiritual wellbeing, but as well for the corporeal down to earth benefit of the one following these instructions.
Our sages have instructed us, that when it comes to worldly matters, strong consideration must be given to the wife’s thoughts. Therefore, as far as the conduct and improvement of the home, it should be according to the opinion of your wife (and it is self-understood this must be done in JOY)
It is obvious, it would be wrong to place pressure on her, against her will, she should acquiesce to you.
It is also pretty obvious and simple that the greatness of a true (mature) human being is, fulfilling his responsibilities and duties, which bring happiness and satisfaction to the people in his family and those around him. (And not going over their heads, regarding the “inconsequential”, appearance and improvements of the home etc.)
Therefore, when your wife returns, tell her you will do all the above in happiness and with a content heart. In your spare time you will make an effort to help her with house chores, and also you will make an effort to discuss with the children the material they studied in school.”
We are living in times when there is a tremendous amount of information and confusion as a result of the open information highway. Our time honored, and time proven advice is still the best, that works.
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